


Sacrifice

by Serena_Rose



Category: The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, Self-Sacrifice, Trust Issues, Unresolved Romantic Tension, what if
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-18
Packaged: 2021-03-04 00:27:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,042
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24774628
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Serena_Rose/pseuds/Serena_Rose
Summary: "I'm gonna blow myself up."What if Jason wasn't able to reveal Bad Janet before Michael activated the device?
Relationships: Complicated Hellstrop, Established Cheleanor - Relationship, Michael (The Good Place) & Eleanor Shellstrop, Michael (The Good Place)/Eleanor Shellstrop, Team Cockroach - Relationship
Comments: 14
Kudos: 43





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> It turns out this episode still manages to make me angry. I've read quite a few nice fics that have Eleanor and Michael happily resolve their issues during this but I'm a naughty bench and love me some angst. I also think there would be a lot more needed to be said between these two idiots, which is what Part Two will be for. ;)

A huge part of her regretted ever asking Michael to restore her memories.

It had been the first thing she’d asked of him after he wiped Chidi’s mind. It was only fair that if one of them had forgotten everything about their relationship that the other be able to carry, not only their recent memories, but the ones they had only been able to glimpse in Michael’s movie montage on their final night together. Michael had hesitated at first. After all, was she certain she wanted to remember every detail about her three hundred years of torture? Not really but, as he pointed out, there was no way to get her memories of all her moments with Chidi back without also remembering the bad stuff. All of the events were tangled together. If it meant having more of her time with Chidi to hold in her head until she got him back then all the other shirt was worth lugging around as well.

Besides, it wasn’t just Chidi she wanted to remember. There were moments between her and Tahani, her and Jason, Janet and, of course, Michael, that had been lost to her. Ever since Michael had uttered the words in that diner in Phoenix – _“I know everything about you.”_ – there had been an uncomfortable niggle on the back of her neck. He wasn’t just talking about meaningless details of her life read from some big database file. He’d known her for three hundred years. He’d had over eight hundred different encounters, different versions of a relationship with her, that had mostly involved them clashing as bitter rivals trying to outwit the other…and had somehow evolved into her helping him understand ethics and him being willing to risk everything to save her and her friends souls from eternal torment. That was quite a gargantuan leap and she needed to understand – Why?

It turned out that having the memories unlocked in her brain, spilling out into her conscious like water from a tap, hadn’t given her any clear answers. Michael’s flip to their side seemed to have been, according to his own words, purely down to a union of convenience. At least, to start. Things had changed the more time they spent together, the more of Chidi’s lessons he absorbed when he finally stopped being a stubborn little shirt and took them seriously. And there were other moments from their couple of months after he joined them. Him and Eleanor having homework groups together, messing around eating junk food and watching reality tv instead of doing any actual homework, being their true selves around each other. The moment she took a leap of faith to believe he was on their side when all seemed lost and he proved to her she was right to believe in him. The moment he sacrificed himself to save her.

All of that was awesome. All of it gave context to how much Michael cared about his humans and what he was willing to do to rescue them. How much he seemed to be drawn to being with Eleanor in particular. The two of them clearly had something special. Something very close that, even now, Eleanor wasn’t entirely sure what to make of. Best buds? That seemed too simple, as though it was skipping over so many other little details, but it was the best way to sum them up.

However…

There were still those three hundred years worth of memories which were not so awesome.

The years where Michael had been so unbelievably cruel and menacing. The centuries spent making her and her friends miserable. The times she and Chidi had found each other, had fallen in love, only to have Michael tear it apart with a heartless snap of his fingers. The times she had stabbed him. The times she’d tried to seduce him and he’d…almost seemed into it. The times he laughed at her pain behind her back. She’d told him she wasn’t mad. He hadn’t known better at the time. He was a demon, after all. It was all in the past. Water under the bridge all the way into the sewers. She was fine with it, of course she was.

All that mattered was who Michael was now. How he had changed. That’s what Eleanor had focused on as she settled into working with him, running the new Medium Place with him at her side. Every second she spent with him, she simply remembered the Michael who had been one of her closest friends, who had done so much for her. Not the Michael who repeatedly took the love of her life away and who constantly put her in terror of going to the ‘real’ Bad Place. Not the Michael who, above all else, was a universe class liar and who had already betrayed one side as soon as it suited him. She hadn’t wanted to entertain thinking of that Michael.

That was until tonight. Once Glenn had shown up with his little revelation about the sabotage, Eleanor had no choice but to face up to those niggling insecurities she had tried to bury. Her secret fears about if Michael was worth putting as much of her faith in as she had so far.

The time spent with Chidi, along with stuffing her face with a plate of nachos, had managed to bring some clarity to her warped head.

Even with his memories of all their time gone, Chidi was showing himself to still be as Chidi as ever. Still putting himself through mental anguish simply to please everyone else. Fork, she missed him so much. Seeing him every day, even having him talk to her as a friend without really knowing her, was too painful to bear. She needed him. She cannot do this alone, no matter how much Michael tried to build her up with one of his pep talks.

Were those even real? Was it all just a scam to get her to be in charge when she’s doing a crappy job? What if all the times they had spent together, practically joined at the hip, was him – or rather, Vicky – pretending to charm his way around her to keep her trust when secretly he was trying to ruin them? It might not even be a case of Vicky stealing his suit. The worst possible scenario, and Eleanor feels dirty for even entertaining the idea, is that Michael switched sides again. If Shawn offered him a deal…and he chose whatever promotion given to him over his humans.

Would he do that to them? Gah! Eleanor hates that she can’t answer that question with the certainty she thinks she might have been able to, once upon a time.

As soon as she gets back to Mindy’s, she lays her cards on the table.

“I just don’t know if I can ever trust you.” Eleanor tells Michael. If nothing else remains between them after all of his constant lying, then she may as well dish out some honesty.

His eyes dart away from her.

She tells them her plan to call the judge and ask for a reset; “We won’t have Chidi in the mix but at least he’ll be on our side again.”

And that’s the one thing keeping her going right now after how badly Michael has hurt her.

Damn it, why not simply tell them about the suit?! Why then cover it up with making her believe his break down was all a ruse? After everything they had been through, did he really not think she deserved so little credit? He had trusted her to believe in him before, why not now?

Maybe it wasn’t Michael. That was honestly her best hope, as much as she hated the thought of him being trapped with Shawn, enduring who knows what.

The Judge will be able to sort it out and it will all be over.

Either way, she’ll have Chidi with her again. One part of her newfound torture will be at an end. Michael may never stop letting her down. No biggie. She was used to being right in her reluctance to trust people. But Chidi will always be her stalwart champion.

Tahani isn’t fond of the plan, not after they have spent so long getting to know the humans.

“I know.” She says, apologetic, to the British beauty; “But if that's not Michael, he could sabotage us in ways we can't even perceive, and even if it is, I can't fully trust him, so every time something goes wrong, a little part of me is gonna wonder.”

The demon himself has been oddly quiet since she re-entered the room, sat with his hands in his lap and a rather distant look on his face. Eleanor honestly expected more pleading and attempts to convince her of who he was. His silence was rather unnerving. It was very un-Michael, so maybe that was a clue in itself.

Then he speaks, getting to his feet.

“I’ve got a better idea. I’m gonna blow myself up.” He says, so calm and resolute that it sends chills through the air.

They are all taken aback.

He explains that this way they can continue the experiment, keeping Chidi as one of the test subjects, giving them the best chance to succeed.

Despite longing for her boyfriend back, Eleanor knows he’s right.

Still…

It seems extreme. There must be another way without resorting to something so…messy. She suggests simply locking Michael away in Janet’s void but, as he points out, she will then have to keep worrying that he’d escaped.

“This way I’ll be out of your hair for good.”

No, she doesn’t want-!

That’s not-!

Fork, she has no idea what to say. It’s as if there is suddenly a clamp on her tongue. No, she doesn’t trust Michael right now, but that doesn’t mean she wants him gone. Especially not in such a violent, dangerous fashion. She glances over at the container where Glenn’s goo is currently resting. Is that what Michael will look like? Just a tank of blue demon gunk, until he reforms in a few months?

It’s not death. He’d come back, eventually, but…

Eleanor folds her arms over her chest, not entirely sure about this, yet she finds it difficult to argue with Michael’s logic. It is the only way to guarantee that he won’t do anything to sabotage them. That’s what was important here, right? They had to put the fate of humanity first. Besides, if it is Vicky or a traitorous Michael then it’s not as if he will actually do it…

He powers up Janet’s device, weakly making a jokey request to make sure all of him gets in the container, as he’d hate to come back shorter.

It’s Tahani who does what Eleanor is too conflicted to do. She speaks up.

“Michael, wait!”

She knows this isn’t right. It isn’t fair.

He looks pained as he cuts her off, “There is nothing I can say to convince you that I’m really me.” His eyes look back to Eleanor as he finishes the sentence.

Her brain spins. Is there really nothing?

Three hundred years worth of memories no longer mean shirt. She clenches her jaw, digging away for something, anything, that she could use as a way to tell that Michael is really their Michael. Her stomach twists into knots as she remembers that, even if she could find something, it wouldn’t restore Eleanor’s faith that Michael wasn’t sabotaging them by his own free will.

She and Tahani share a weary look while Jason keeps his head down, silent as the monk he pretends to be. Janet doesn’t say a word.

The device whirls in Michael’s quivering grip. Eleanor sees the sweat on his brow.

“I wish I were saying this in different circumstances but…Take it sleazy.” He wags his finger from his forehead, giving her one last hint of a smile.

Eleanor is struck blind by a memory from years past. Those same eyes looking at her so intently. That same small smile being granted to her despite what he was about to do. To save her. His hands on her waist, shoving her backwards, ignoring her pleas, giving up everything to make sure she…

Her heart stops. She goes to reach her hand out.

The blue eyes burst as his skin suit explodes. The device drops to the ground, smoking slightly from the tip.

Everyone lets out a small scream as they’re hit in the face with splatters of Michael’s blue essence. Unlike with Glenn, none of them are screaming with horror or disgust, but distress.

Eleanor wipes her eyes. Her breathing suddenly ragged, she stares down at the floor.

Pieces of the fabric of Michael’s suit are scattered all over Mindy’s living room. There’s something sliding down Eleanor’s sleeve. She glances at her wrist to find Michael’s stained bow-tie having fallen on her. She plucks it from her sweater and cradles it in her hand, feeling her stomach begin to sink as the reality of what has just happened begins to creep in.

He did it. The son of a bench did it again.

She hadn’t expected him to…She’d thought…

Oh. Oh, forking fork, no!

Tahani steps over to her, flicking some of the juice from her eye. Eleanor looks up to see the upset wincing on her face as she glances at the bow-tie, unable to look at her friend.

“Well. I don’t know about you but I’d say he certainly convinced me.” Tahani says, eyes flashing with resentment.

Eleanor frowns. Is she trying to make out that this is somehow her fault?!

“Excuse me!?” She frowns, having to tilt her head up at the taller woman; “I didn’t see you trying to wrestle that thing off of him!”

“Because he was determined to prove himself to you!” Tahani snaps back, tears in her eyes; “You didn’t even try to stop him, Eleanor!”

“You weren’t sure it was really Michael either!” She accuses, deflecting all the comments because, god damn it, she feels shirty enough right now and wants Tahani get off her back, “Sorry, sweetheart, but when have you contributed something even somewhat useful tonight, or even since we began this whole experiment, because as far as I’ve seen, all you’ve ever done is stand around making useless comments and looking gorgeous while I’ve been lugging this whole experiment on my back for months!”

Tahani reels at that, tears flashing in her eyes, and Eleanor manages to make herself feel even more guilty. Now that Michael is gone, more or less, Tahani is next in the firing line for her to lash out her own insecurities towards.

“You really are incredibly ungrateful, aren’t you.” She shakes her head at Eleanor; “It wasn’t just your back, Eleanor. Michael was there with you, helping you out, being there for you – we all saw it. When the rest of us doubted your leadership, it was Michael who stood up for you and told us to give you a chance!”

Eleanor bites the inside of her lip. She hadn’t been aware of that. He had been the only one to come after her, sure, but she had missed the part where he defended her to the others.

He believed in her. She…Oh, God.

“You know, Michael restored my memories as well.” Tahani tells her; “You weren’t there for his retirement party in the first experiment. Do you want to know what he said to me a phrase that he’d always wished he got a chance to say but never had?”

Eleanor sniffs; “What?”

“…Take it sleazy.” Tahani scoffs, wiping a stray tear from her eye.

The air abandons Eleanor’s lungs. She looks down at the bow-tie again.

“…I need some air. I’ll be back to help clean Michael up soon.”

“Tahani, I…” Eleanor tries to reach out.

The taller woman recoils at her touch, as if burned, showing Eleanor the back of her hand as she leaves.

“I simply don’t want to talk to you right now, Eleanor.” She tells her, closing the front door behind her.

Screw her. What right did that sexy giraffe have to talk to her like that? To make out as if she was the cause of this? Michael made his choice. He was doing what he thought was best. The knot twists again.

She turns just as Jason is getting up, the usual bounce in his step now gone, his shoulders slumped.

“Buddy. Wait…” She tries to touch his arm.

“Nah, dawg. Just gimmie a minute.” He mumbles, sounding so small and deflated that it cuts her up.

“Please don’t tell me you’re mad at me too.” She frowns.

“I ain’t mad at you. M’just mad at all of us. It’s not fair.” He sighs as he stands in front of the door, hand on the knob; “I ain’t never had anyone do the things for me Michael did, y’know? I never had anyone look out for me…Want me to be better…Save my life. I shoulda stopped him. I…”

He glances over Eleanor’s shoulder at Janet, who has already started hoovering Michael up.

Jason sighs, probably feeling the loss of her as well; “I’m gonna miss him, that’s all. He was the dopest demon I ever met. No offence, Glenn.”

The bubbles in the tank rise and burst.

Jason solemnly walks out the door, closing it behind him.

Eleanor sways on his feet, feeling dizzy, now the only human left in the room. She clutches the silk fabric of the bow-tie in her hands. Great. Forking great. Now her boyfriend didn’t remember her, two of her friends were pissed at her, and the closest friend and confidant she had was dripping in over a dozen places around the living room. Nothing felt real. She waited for the moment Shawn or Vicky popped out to cry ‘Bearimy Fools’ or whatever. Anything.

Just. Don’t let this be real. Please, God.

“Janet…” She calls over to the mainframe extracting the vacuum sack into a spare container; “Was I wrong? Sh-should I have trusted Michael, or at least…done more to stop him, I dunno?”

The not-robot gives her a regretful glance.

“You’re not to blame for Michael’s choices, Eleanor. He wanted to do what was best for the group. You respected that choice.”

Eleanor takes a breath, glad someone appreciates it; “…Exactly. And he’s gonna come back. He…He said he’d come back…” she tugs the silk between her fingers; “Would that have hurt him?”

“Most definitely.” Janet responds, all too cheery and easily; “It’s an excruciating experience for demons to be scattered. It’s why I’m trying to put him back into one piece as quickly as I can, it’ll be slightly less painful when he’s in the container.”

Fork. Eleanor’s free hand flies up to her mouth. Michael had said it would ‘suck’ but she didn’t think he meant…

“Sorry. Given your response to Michael’s lie, I thought it best to be brutally honest.” Janet retorts.

Eleanor winces. Was that a layer of passive aggression in her tone? Did Janet blame her too? She hated that all of this was suddenly being focused in on her when barely any of them had made an effort to stop Michael except for Tahani’s brief objection.

They had all simply looked to Eleanor…their leader. The leader they put their trust in. Who Michael believed in.

She grits her teeth furious; “Damn it, Janet! Why didn’t the stupid demon just tell me the truth about the suit months ago?!”

“I guess he thought there was no point if Shawn was going to erase your memories.” Janet shrugs, sweeping some dollops of Michael up from the fireplace; “Also, if he had told you, maybe he thought you’d be spending all these months wondering if it was really him? Just a hunch.”

She wouldn’t have…Oh, wait.

She casts her mind back to the moment before Michael’s panic attack. She’d only visited his office to briefly wish him good luck. She didn’t even have her memories back at this point but she’d spent enough time with the dude to know he was on their side, that he was her friend. He’d been looking out for her, saving her life, guiding her steps, leading her to Chidi and protecting them from Trevor and a whole load of other shirt for two years. He’d been there with her when she confronted her mother. The woman who had changed her ways for another little girl but not for her own daughter. Whereas Michael…he had changed for her. He’d been willing to throw himself to the horned lions, for her. She had been more than convinced that this strange but amazing guardian demon loved them. She had wanted him to know that. She’d given him a promise.

_“We trust you. Your friends will always trust you.”_

She hadn’t kept that promise.

He’d faltered because he was so afraid of letting them down, of having them believe that he would hurt them again, it had broken him. Eleanor had unknowingly made Shawn’s threat come true, without the use of any skin suit.

Michael had done the only thing he could do to prove it was him.

Sacrifice himself to save a bunch of cockroaches. The most Michael thing he could do. It was all the proof that they needed and it had come a split second too late.

“Sorry, Eleanor, do you mind taking over for a bit? Brent is asking for me.” Janet leaves the vacuum on the coach; “He apparently wants me to be a croupier for his poker game.” She rolls her eyes and bings out of the room.

Now she’s alone.

Well, not quite.

She glances around, seeing what remains of her friend dotted up the walls. She takes a breath and goes to pick up the vacuum. This is the least she can do to start making it up to Michael.

There’s a crunch beneath her feet.

She looks down, underneath her shoe, finding Michael’s glasses broken beneath the sole.

That’s what does it. Eleanor sobs.

She falls to her knees, her body wracked with guilt. She’s not a person who cries easily. At least, she never used to be. Tears seemed to find her a lot more freely now. The last time she’d cried, feeling guilty over torturing Chidi, it had been Michael’s hand rubbing her back. It had been Michael’s soft words that comforted her and told her it was okay to work feel angry and sad and to be able to work through them. And before that, he had been the one to find her, when she sat alone, crying into her drink after thinking all her friends had turned on her. Always Michael. Always there.

There is no hand to rub her shoulder now. There’s no one to give her the words she needs to hear to boost her spirit.

Something cool and slimy nudges against her fingers on the floor. She wipes her eyes, blinking, seeing a tiny blue blob wriggle its way towards her hand. She steadies her breathing, feeling something tug at her heart. What looked like a disgusting little slug suddenly became rather cute as Eleanor realized the thing was…nuzzling her.

“…H-Hey, buddy.” She cries, not moving her finger, in case she hurts him even more.

Even now, when he’s splattered into tiny pieces, after she stood by and let him blow himself up because she couldn’t trust him…he’s still there for her.

There’s a burst of a minuscule bubble on the blob at her hand. She tries to imagine what he’s trying to communicate to her in her mind.

_Pick yourself up and get your shirt together. We’ve got work to do._

Eleanor steels herself and nods, straightening her back.

She grabs the vacuum and continues gathering all the pieces of Michael’s essence together, not missing a single spot. He was right in that some of him was in her hair, which was a bit of a hassle to get out, a bit like removing chewing gum. Some blond strands get sent up the nozzle.

“You might be more of a golden fox when you reform there, bud.” She whispers, pouring the last few drops into the tank; “But that’s okay. We were getting good at the whole color co-ordination, huh?”

Another bubble splurts in response. Eleanor places the bow-tie on the shelf, beside the container, along with his glasses.

“I’ll get Janet to fix them…I _will_ fix this.” She takes a breath and strokes her fingertips against the glass; “I won’t let you down again, Michael…”

There was another few bursts and slurps from the liquid. She isn’t sure how to decipher those.

There is, however, only one way she is aware of how to make this right.

She’s going to call the Judge. Something was sabotaging the experiment and now they are positive it wasn’t Michael. He gave up the skin suit he loved and potentially four months of his existence to reassure them of that. The Judge will be able to get the truth out of what the Bad Place is really doing to mess things up. They’ll have to reset, maybe with Chidi as a subject, maybe not, it wasn’t top of Eleanor’s concern right now, funny enough. Chidi would be safe, whichever they went with. Michael was the one currently in pain and out of commission for their sakes. Eleanor needed to make it right by him.

“Janet? Janet!” She tries calling for her but there’s no response. Brent must be keeping her occupied.

She’s about to call for Derek as a last resort when Janet finally bings in on the third call.

“Sorry about that, he kept asking me to help him cheat. What’s up?” She asks.

Eleanor requests for her to get Tahani and Jason back here asap. When they’re both back in the house, Eleanor states her plan, facing Janet again.

“Get me through to the Judge. We’re resetting the experiment.”

“Wh-what? Why?” Janet asks, strangely startled more than is usual for her, even with all her reboots.

“Eleanor, Michael just blew himself to pieces so we wouldn’t have to do this!” Tahani says, still looking rather angry with her friend. Or perhaps, with herself.

The blue goo in the container decorated with Michael’s accessories begins to bubble, angrily.

“Don’t you start, dude!” Eleanor snaps at the tank and then back to Tahani; “Listen, I don’t have a clue how to be the Architect here without an actual Architect to show me the ropes! I cannot run this without Michael. And we still don’t know who or what has been sabotaging our experiments. Michael’s sacrifice didn’t fix anything! Except…made me realize what a shirty friend I am.”

Tahani’s face softens with regret; “Oh, Eleanor, that’s not true. I never meant to imply that-.”

“It’s okay, hot stuff. You were right to be pissed at me. I’m pissed at me, and Michael, and Chidi, and pretty much everything right now. But what we’re doing is too important to let these petty tricks come between us. That’s what the Bad Place wanted, to tear us apart, and they almost succeeded. We won’t let them.” Eleanor says, summoning her best fearless leader voice; “We’re gonna call the Judge and get her to sort this mess out. Janet?”

The not-robot seemed rather distracted during the conversation, as if she was barely listening.

“A call to the Judge please, babe?” Eleanor asks again.

“Oh. Are you sure? I mean it does seem rather unnecessary, especially given what Michael just did for us…” Janet hesitates.

Eleanor frowns. Something isn’t right. Janet is all super cautious now but when one of her closest friends held an explosive device to his stomach to destroy himself, she hadn’t said a word.

“Hey, Janet.” Jason moves past Eleanor and over to her; “If you don’t think it’s right to call the Judge then I don’t think we should either.”

“What?!” Eleanor blinks at him.

“Janet’s the smartest girl in the universe! If anyone knows what’s best, it’s her, right?”

This was even more strange, Jason making such a firm decision. Eleanor glances over at Tahani. Is it possible that one of them is the demon in a suit?

Janet smiles, warmly, at Jason and accepts the hug he’s offering.

Jason leans forward, then pulls a pair of magnet handcuffs out of his pockets and slaps them on Janet’s wrists. The glamour over the walking mainframe distorts and shifts, revealing a Bad Janet stood before them all, slouching and cursing when she sees the looks on their faces and realizes she’s been caught out.

Son of a bench!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Credit to Star-Pepper for illustration!


	2. Chapter 2

For the first time in, well, possibly forever, it felt as though fate was on their side. If fate and the all-powering Judge of the Universe were the same thing then it must be the case.

After some passionate ranting from Eleanor, Gen had agreed that the Bad Place had gone too far. Sending in a demon in disguise as a human was one thing. But kidnapping their Janet? Shawn tried to wave it off as Janets not being sentient in the same way as other beings, but Gen saw through that horse shirt in a microsecond. Chick was fuming. Eleanor didn’t know what she had planned for Shawn as a punishment for crossing the line again and she didn’t much care. He hoped he was having his eyes gouged out and each one forced to watch videos of little girl’s ballet recitals for the next thousand years.

With a simple flick of her wrist, the Judge had swapped out the Bad Janet who had been playing them this whole time with their real Janet. The group had wasted no time in wrapping her up in the tightest of hugs when she appeared back in Mindy’s living room, safe and not too emotionally damaged from her ‘torture’ in the Bad Place.

Thank God for Jason friggen’ Mendoza. He’d been the one to save the day.

“I call Janet ‘girl’, but she always says ‘not a girl’.” He’d explained to them, making the Bad Janet groan at her own pathetic slip up.

Eleanor tries not to be as vindictive as she once was. But part of her wished that the Judge had given her permission to marbleize the bench and eat her as a topping on her next cup of froyo. It was her friend Janet who, even after her recent ordeal, had reminded her that the Bad Janet was simply obeying orders.

None of it mattered anymore. Their Janet was home. They spent a good while fussing over her and apologising for not noticing the switch. It tore Eleanor up inside to think their group, their family, might not all know each other as well as she had been convinced they did.

Also, as a consolation for the sabotage, Gen agreed not to reset. It was only fair.

The one thing she couldn’t do was restore Michael to normal for them. That act of self-sacrifice had been his choice to make and so he had to deal with the consequences. Eleanor wanted to rave about how unreasonable that was, how she relied on Michael to show her how to run a neighborhood, but decided to hold her tongue for once in her afterlife. They were already getting a good deal with having Janet back and avoiding needing to restart. Shut up and be grateful.

As soon as Janet sees Michael’s container on the fireplace, her expression crumbles with a glance that breaks Eleanor’s heart again. How had she failed to notice the lack of sympathy in the Bad Janet’s face when all of this had gone down? That other one had barely said a word, yet she was supposed to be Michael’s oldest friend.

God, Shellstrop, you’re a hot dumbash.

“Is there nothing we can do?” Eleanor asks Janet, “Are we really gonna have to wait a few months till we get him back?”

It wasn’t that long, she told herself. But it had barely been a day and she was already feeling the gaping Michael sized hole in the room that he used to so suavely fill with his presence.

There was also the added worry of having to hide those seven stages of demon growth from the residents. A slug monster and creepy little girl was doable. A giant ball of tongues and six-thousand-foot-tall fire squid? Not so much.

“Well…There is another way. It’s not one that’s been done before so it might be risky.” Janet explains, standing next to Michael’s container; “I’ll need to repair Michael’s suit for use before he’s fully reformed anyway. But instead of having him reform out here slowly and then put the suit on, I can put his essence straight into the suit and he reforms within it. It’s a faster method but…not the most stable.”

“Will he be okay?” Eleanor asks the only really important question, her hand reaching up to touch the glass on the container.

Janet nods; “When it’s done? Sure. But it’s a lot more stressful, mentally speaking. It’ll be kinda like he has a really bad flu until his essence and the suit have properly reconnected.”

Eleanor looks to Jason and Tahani. They seem to be thinking the same as her…or at least, Tahani is, given by the nod she throws Eleanor.

She turns back to the container; “Okay, dude. I know this might suck and I’m sorry to have to put you through more painful shirt…but we really need you back in action as soon as. And as cool as it would be to meet Giant Ball of Tongues Michael-.”

“Aww, man!” Jason complains.

“-And I know Tahani already picked out some dresses for Spooky Little Girl Michael-.”

The aristocrat sighs; “I found such an adorable number with bows and ribbons and I was going to stitch ‘Eat Hearts’ all along the hem!”

“-We need our sexy, smart and loyal as fork Michael back.” Eleanor tells the goo; “It’s your choice. If you wanna go slow and steady, we’ll be here. But unless you plan on objecting with some major bubbling in the next minute or two, we’re going with the quick option. Got it?”

There’s silence for a brief moment, followed by a couple of bubbles popping. Nothing too vigorous. Accepting.

Eleanor smiles, petting the glass; “That’s my demon.”

*

They’d taken the container along with the pieces of Michael’s human suit to Eleanor’s house. Michael was having to go through enough crap right now without needing to rest up in a bedroom filled with sex toys belonging to their perverted hostess and her love robot. The group had made sure to move under cover of night, Jason and Tahani scouting ahead to make sure none of the human subjects were out late.

They really didn’t want to have to come up with a lie to explain what was going on right now or come up with a name for their tank of blue demon gunk.

She gives up her bed to be used for them to lay the fragments of Michael’s suit out in. He gave up his life for her, twice, the least she can do is let him have her bed. Janet arranges all the pieces like a puzzle and then has them fuse back together. Both Eleanor and Tahani cringe at the sight of Michael’s skin suit laying there all flat and hollowed out, creased and still like a bouncy castle waiting to be blown up.

Janet leans over with the container and, very carefully, tilts it to begin pouring the essence into the suit. It’s a surprisingly uncomfortable process to watch, even for Eleanor who usually takes a lot to gross out. She lets Tahani hide her face behind the top of her head, even though she has to bend down to do so.

She blinks a few times and, barely noticing the shift, sees Michael’s prone figure lying on her mattress. A sigh of relief leaves her and she clutches for Tahani’s arm. It’s him, it’s really him. Except it’s incredibly weird to see Michael laying down, seemingly unconscious. She’s pretty sure she’s never seen the dude sleep. He may have once said he wasn’t capable. She watches as Janet props a pillow under his head and removes his jacket and bow-tie. His glasses remain broken on Eleanor’s bedside table.

Gingerly, she takes a step closer to the bed. There’s a short wait before she spots Michael’s chest begin to move, short raspy breaths coming from his parted lips, his eyes remaining closed.

“Is he…?” She asks Janet, not sure what she’s asking.

Not, is he alive? That’s not really the issue here. Is he in pain? Seems to be, judging from the creasing in his face as he sleeps.

“I managed to get his essence and the suit to reform together. The rest is down to him.” She explains, leaving a glass with black, sparkly liquid beside the bed; “That’s antimatter mixed with honeycomb. It’ll help keep him somewhat comfy. The next seventy-two hours are gonna be rough going.”

“How so?” Tahani asks.

“Ten billion years of existence and memories fitting back together in an unnaturally short amount of time. That’s gonna be the mother of all head rushes.” Janet says, “He’ll be fine…I think. So long as it doesn’t break his mind.”

“Break his mind?!”

“Well, for a typical demon, reliving centuries of the torture they’ve dished out would be a trip down memory lane.” Janet tries to explain; “But this is Michael. He’s not exactly proud of…well, pretty much all his life before he became friends with you guys. It’s not gonna be easy for him.”

“You’re just telling us this NOW?” Eleanor asks.

Are they sure they have the real Janet back? God, she’s paranoid now.

“So long as someone stays with him, there’s no reason we should lose him to any complete lack of sanity.” Janet assures them, “I would stay but there’s a lot of patching up I need to do with the neighborhood, fixing Bad Janet’s subtle acts of vandalism. Also, John wants a new haircut. I’ll be back soon.”

The not-robot vanishes again.

Eleanor turns to Tahani; “I’m gonna stay with him. You were right, babe. You guys made me the leader and I should have spoken up to stop him doing this…I owe it to him to be there for him now.”

“But what about the neighborhood?” Tahani asks with a worried frown.

“What about it? They already got the best hostess there to cater to their needs.” Eleanor smiles at her, putting her hand on her arm; “Don’t look so nervous. You got this.”

Tahani doesn’t look so certain. For once, she looks rather insecure, almost smaller even when dwarfing Eleanor.

“I’ll keep an eye on Chidi for you.” She promises before wrapping Eleanor up in one of her amazing hugs; “I am sorry I said all those things before…”

Eleanor shakes her head, enjoying the feel of those breasts against her head; “You only said what I was thinking myself.”

Before they leave, Jason keeps up his promise to keep being the best silent, stoic monk he can be around all the subjects except Chidi. Eleanor has complete faith in them both. They deserve it as much, if not more, than the faith they all kept putting in her.

Once they’re gone, a low whimper followed by a mumble turns her head.

She moves back to the bed and climbs on the other side, kneeling next to Michael.

“Hey there, bud.” Eleanor whispers, hand carting softly through his hair that was thankfully still shining white; “…I dunno if you can hear me. But, boy, am I glad to have you back. You really scared me there for a second, y’know?”

Michael doesn’t respond, inaudible gibberish continuing to whisper from his lips. Eleanor presses her hand to his forehead. He’s so hot that she can barely touch him for long until her skin starts to sting. He did say that he was a Fire Squid. It made sense that he would be running a high fever as all his being tried to fit itself properly inside that human suit.

Eleanor removes his shoes that had reformed with the rest of his clothes and pulls the lighter blanket on her bed up to his stomach, taking a small portion of it for herself.

She lays down beside him, feeling exhausted, not having slept in almost forty hours. She moves her hand to rest on top of his chest.

“M’right here.” Eleanor tells him, hoping the words make it through that thick head of his to his brain. “I’m gonna stay right here, Michael. Okay?”

No reply.

That’s fine. Eleanor took a deep breath and closed her eyes.

*

She wakes to a harsh juddering that shakes the bed. She’s not sure how long she’s been asleep. Definitely not enough to feel refreshed. Her eyes snap open.

Michael’s delirious mumbling has evolved in feverish fitting, feet kicking out, head turning from side to side as his body starts to thrash. Eleanor edges back a little while still keeping close. Beads of sweat are dripping down Michael’s forehead, that look of agony on his face becoming ever more distraught. Eleanor can’t remember ever having cared for a sick person before, not counting whenever she had to play ‘nurse’ every Sunday morning for her mother’s hangovers. She feels out of her depth. But she agreed to this. She owed Michael this and way more.

Eleanor grabs the glass of antimatter. Her other hand tries to get Michael to lean his head up, carefully.

“Shh, shh, buddy. C’mon now. Big sips.” She coaxes, tilting the glass to his lips.

He cringes at first, seeming like he’s going to bat the glass away, but Eleanor is quick and does her best to dodge his pitiful swipes. Eventually his lips meet the liquid and he gives into his obvious thirst. She doesn’t dare to try the stuff herself after what happened in Attempt 383, but she hopes it refreshes Michael.

After she’s managed to get that down him, he curls towards her a little. She notices some of the liquid on his face, below his eyes, are tears rather than sweat.

Fork. What is going through his head right now?

She continues stroking his hair and staying close, wondering all too late again if this was the right thing. Was it fair to put Michael through this much mental suffering just so she didn’t have to face running the neighborhood alone? No. It was more than that.

“I need you, bud.” Eleanor whispers, clutching at his hand; “Not just because we’re partners in crime here, as awesome as we are together. But because…I would be nothing without you. I’d either be dead and lost to the real Bad Place or stuck in some corrupt job in my shirt, selfish life. I wouldn’t have my friends, I wouldn’t be able to have this chance to help people…I’d be alone. I don’t ever want to be alone again, Michael. And I don’t want you to be alone either. We were both shirty loners for far too long. But we found each other. We found our family, didn’t we? So, let’s not leave them now, yeah. Let’s not leave each other.”

She gives him a slight tug and he rolls into her, feeling his hands around her sides. She lets him cling to her and she draws him into her arms. For such a tall telephone pole of a dude, he feels incredibly small and vulnerable right now. Her heart lurches as she holds him.

“We’re gonna be fine. Everything is gonna be fine. So long as we stick together.” Eleanor assures him, as well as herself.

*

It’s another day before Michael finally opens his eyes. Janet had popped in every few hours to check how he was doing, which for the most part remained the same. Lying in bed, muttering to himself, unresponsive to anything Eleanor said, except physically leaning into her now and then, and the occasional rough seizure that even Eleanor had to force herself to stay back from unless she wanted her nose broken.

Janet explained that his brain is processing centuries upon centuries of memories about his life up until now. Given everything he had disclosed to Eleanor about what that was like until he found his true friends in Team Cockroach, Eleanor could understand why it didn’t seem to be a pleasant experience to relive. She’s tempted to go back to the bed and hug him again. It seemed to calm him down, most of the time. In other moments he was too lost to even feel she was there.

“It will get worse before it gets better. Vivid memories are always closer to the surface as he climbs out of his subconscious.” Janet tries to tell her.

Eleanor finishes her coffee, having pulled herself away from Michael’s side to stretch her legs and have a snack. She checks on how Tahani is getting on, amazingly as predicted. Janet is there to help and the two are a more than suitable team. And Jason…is Jason. That’s as best as they can ask for.

She’s about to ask Janet about the party Tahani is arranging for one of the fake residents that night when Michael suddenly sits up in bed.

Eleanor turns, her jaw hanging open in surprise.

His expression is a blank slate. Blue eyes staring intently at her.

She smiles, walking up the steps to him; “Michael? Hey, dude! Welcome back.”

She carefully sits down on the edge of the bed, his pupils following her every movement.

“Are you with us, bro?” Eleanor asks, leaning in closer; “It’s me. Eleanor. Your most annoying human, remember?”

He says nothing. He tilts his head, slightly curious. It sends a chill down her spine.

She swallows, nervous; “Michael? You gonna say something or-? AHH!”

She’s cut off when Michael’s hand grabs her by the throat and he stands up off the bed. His blue eyes flash with sadistic, almost childlike glee as a smile forms on his face. He chuckles as he lifts her off the ground and watches her struggle for air.

Oh, fork! What the ever-loving fork?! Eleanor does her best to kick and struggle but she can’t fight a demon’s strength.

Janet screams from the corner of the room; “Michael! Michael, stop! Put her down, now!”

But he doesn’t. Instead he clicks his fingers, summoning a screwdriver into his hand, the end pulsing with electricity.

“Nothing personal, you understand.” Michael whispers, his eyes looking at Eleanor but not really seeing her; “Just doin’ my job. Mondays, am I right?”

He fires up the drill. Oh, shirt, what is he planning to…?

“MICHAEL! Put the human down!” Janet shouts again.

She darts forward and grabs at his free hand, wrenching the screwdriver out of his grip. Michael frowns at her.

“You’re not a Bad Janet? What are you doing in…?” He asks, still choking Eleanor, almost as if he were multitasking.

“You’re not in the Bad Place! Look at her, Michael! You know her! Think about what you’re doing! Remember her!” Janet pleads.

He makes an incredulous face and turns back to Eleanor, gasping for breath, clawing at his hand. Tears in her reddening eyes. Fork! Through the agony in her throat, in her lungs, what’s more painful is the realisation that Michael doesn’t recognise her. He doesn’t remember ever leaving behind his old job.

He frowns at Eleanor, clearly seeing nothing but a worthless cockroach to torture, as his day job demanded.

Think, Eleanor, think! What is there you could say to…?

“K-Kor-off!” She chokes.

“Sorry, what’s that now? Could you please speak up?” Michael asks, polite as always, even when squeezing the air out of her.

“K-Korzoff!” She manages to shout, everything becoming far too bright and blurry around her.

Miraculously, Michael drops her to the floor. Eleanor lands with a thud, reaching for her throat. Fork, that’s gonna sting for a while. It made sense that a Fire Squid’s first instinct would be to constrict.

His brow creases; “…How…How did you know my dog spider’s name? Who told you?”

“You did, you big dummy!” She wheezes, staring up at him; “Need more? Look at your wrist!”

He glances to the paperclip bracelet tinkling above the cuff of his shirt. He strokes it, curious, with one finger.

“I…I don’t remember ever getting this…It’s beautiful! Who…?” Michael looks to Janet and then back to the human getting to her feet before him.

Is it working?

Eleanor dares to take a step closer, despite the fear pulsing from the bruises forming on her throat. She does her best to smile, watching as Michael’s face starts to fall, something beginning to settle into that great, dumb but brilliant brain of his. He blinks at her, mouth hanging open, as he looks her up and down.

She moves closer. He steps back, his hip knocking against her bedside table, nearly sending the empty glass of antimatter toppling over.

His face sinks with horror as he clearly starts to realise what he did. Who he did it to.

“Oh…Oh, no…No, no, no, no, no!” Michael crumbles, panic shaking him up.

Eleanor continues to reach over; “Hey. It’s okay, bud. I’m not mad. A little shaky but, look at me, I’m all good. It’s gonna be all right.”

He looks down, shame convulsing through him, his hand shuddering against the table.

“Michael? Look at me.” She reaches out a hand to his face, stroking his jaw; “It’s okay. It’s just me.”

He cautiously raises his head up, eyes searching into hers. Ah. That’s better. She starts to see him now. The real him. It feels as though she’s been missing those eyes for months rather than days.

He blinks, lips twitching, his eyes moist.

“….El…Eleanor?”

He sounds like a little, lost child. It’s as if the other, cheerful and malicious voice had been from an entirely different Michael. A long dead and buried Michael.

Eleanor nods, tears forming. Yes. It’s her.

Does he remember everything? Does he remember how this is her fault?

Does he hate her?

Michael collapses to his knees and slides his arms around her middle, hanging onto her as he breaks down, having just crawled his way out of billions of years of hellfire fuelled memories to find her again. She sighs, heavily, her hands moving around his head, feeling his tears soak her top. She glances over at Janet, who looks as lost for words as she feels right now.

No one says anything. All Eleanor can do is hold her friend close and thank the artificial stars he’s no longer a puddle of goo.

*

She manages to get a longer sleep this time around, feeling far more refreshed when she rises up from her pillow and rubs her eyes. Michael, who she’d had to pull onto the bed and lay with her, letting him cling to her as they both fell asleep, had left an empty space beside her. Eleanor almost panicked before she sees the movement out of the corner of her eye.

Her clown-face sliding doors are open. Michael is in the living room, shrugging on his jacket and fixing his bow-tie, his back turned to her.

Eleanor smiles, exhaling, glad to see he’s up and about again. She’s about to call his name when the front door opens. Tahani and Jason walk in and, for a brief moment, Eleanor regrets giving them a copy of her key.

Michael turns to them, a smile on his face; “Hey, guys. Missed me?”

Tahani is the first to stride forward into his open arms. Jason quickly follows suit. There’s wide grins and chuckles as Michael embraces them both. Eleanor sits in her bed, feeling a little awkward, almost left out. Maybe rightfully so. She’s the reason Michael had to go through all that shirt in the first place.

“Michael, you look as dashing as ever!” Tahani complements, taking his hands.

“Oh, you really think so?” He asks, smoothing back his hair; “I know I was nervous about coming back short but I actually think I’ve grown a few inches taller?”

“Yeah, we might’ve mixed some of Glenn’s goo in your container by mistake. Our bad.” Jason shrugs.

“Ah. Sucks for Glenn.” Michael doesn’t seem too bothered about that.

Eleanor walks down the steps from her bedroom and the sound catches the gang’s attention, their eyes turning to her briefly. She tries not to feel put off when the worry seems to return to their eyes once she appears. Michael clenches his fingers of one hand, the other in his pocket, as he looks awkwardly from Eleanor back to the other two.

“Look, guys, I wanna apologise for not being straight with you about Shawn calling to tell me about the suit. I really thought I was doing the right thing by not making you all have to worry about that, I honestly never expected them to threaten to use the suit to sabotage us!” He tries to explain to them.

Tahani waves it off; “Say no more. We understand why you did it and we’re sorry we didn’t put more faith in you. If I can forgive Ed Sheeran for not citing me as the inspiration for his last album, I can easily forgive you. I’m just thankful this whole thing is behind us now.”

“Yeah, homie. We’re sorry we let you get blown up like that.” Jason offers his fist to the demon; “Buds?”

Michael nods, his smile stretching as he returns the Florida DJ’s fist-bump.

Eleanor remains silent from her position, hanging back, watching the three of them all make up so easily over what had been one of the worst nights of her life. She’s spent the last two and a half days here, with nothing to do but watch Michael mentally fight his way out of a coma, then have him choke her and cling to her like a stretched-out spider monkey. She’d had nothing but time to reflect on what mattered to her and how she had royally forked up, yet with all that time she was still uncertain exactly how to sort this mess out.

“Are you sure you’re feeling all better now?” Tahani asks Michael, worried.

He gives her hand a squeeze; “Tahani, I haven’t felt so alive in centuries! A nap like that was just what I needed to rejuvinate me. It was like a spa trip for my brain!”

A nap? Spa trip? That’s not how it had looked at all to Eleanor. She keeps her mouth shut. He’s playing to cool so their friends don’t worry. Some things never change.

Sated, Tahani suggests they all meet for dinner later that night at her house, promising to put on one of her best spreads. Jason promises to bring the tunes. Michael says he can’t wait. But first, they all have work to be getting on with.

After Tahani and Jason have left, Eleanor finally walks forward, as if having been giving silent permission to enter her own living room.

“Dude…” She calls, getting Michael to turn around. She offers him his glasses, recently fixed, good as new; “Guessing you might need these?”

He gives the specs a tiny smile as he takes them from her; “Well. Not really, my eyesight still beats out human perception without them. But people always seem to assume you’re smarter with glasses on.” He slides the frames over his ears; “Better?”

Eleanor nods, smiling. She wonders if she should apologise for breaking them.

There’s a lot she needs to apologise for but the words seem to dissolve before reaching her lips.

“Much better.” She agrees. Not just the glasses. All of it.

Having Michael stood in front of her now, solid and complete as ever, is much better than a container full of glue or a fidgeting, silent wreck of a demon lying on her bed.

There’s an uncomfortable stillness as Michael smiles down at her, his hand on his chest.

“Right. Well. We better get back to work then! Come on, Team Leader, we have your entire race of souls to save.” He tries to move towards the door.

Eleanor grabs at his sleeve.

“Michael, stop!” She pleads, refusing to let everything carry on as normal. As if it was ever normal between them; “Don’t you think we should talk about what happened?”

“Right…” He sighs, looking bashful; “Sure, it’s just…I know what you want to say, Eleanor, and please, just let me say first of all…I am so…So sorry!”

She frowns. What in Hell does he have to be sorry for…? Oh.

His eyes are wandering, anxiously, towards her neck.

“No, Michael, don’t worry about that!” Eleanor waves her hand, “Janet already sorted me out, I don’t feel a thing. And hey, after eight hundred tortures, what is one more, huh?”

Michael shakes his head, cringing with shame; “Not like that! I never laid a finger on you before.”

That is true. Even when she’d stabbed him, both times, he had never responded with violence. Mostly shocked but amused laughter followed by a finger snap. The peaks of his cruelty were always in his perfectly timed words, in the fear mongering pranks, in the occasional empty threats. Honestly, the closest thing to pain he had given her before the other night was a paperclip shower.

“Don’t worry about it. You were completely out of it. I’ve done worse shirt when I’ve been drunk or high as a kite, not to mention when both were true.”

“You mean your college roommate’s twenty-first birthday?”

Eleanor nods, and there’s a brief smirk shared between them, as neither needs to mention what she got up to on that crazy night. Best left unsaid and left to the memories that only Michael was privy to. So many angry mimes.

“Point is, I know you’d never hurt me in your right Michaely mind.” She states with certainty.

“Do you? I mean, not to put a downer on everything but, you still have no way of knowing it’s really me.”

“Of course I do!” Eleanor exclaims, clutching at his hand; “Only the real Michael has figured out how to solve the trolley problem. Fork, you need to stop showing that off any chance you get!”

Michael’s ears turn pink as he looks away from her.

“You know I’d do it again. A thousand times, if need be.”

“Once was enough, man! Twice? I don’t think I could survive it a third time so we’re not getting anywhere close to a thousand!” Eleanor swears, “Anyway, you should not be the one apologising here! That’s what I was planning to do and you just stole my gig!”

Michael frowns at her; “Eleanor, why should you apologise to me?”

“For not trusting you, idiot!” She says, aloud, frustrated; “After all the shirt you’ve done for me and the others, after everything we’ve been through, I should have had your back, like you always have mine, and I let you down. I let you…God, damn it…” She winces as she fights the guilt that’s been tearing her up inside.

The white-haired demon goes to touch her shoulder but then stops, his hand hovering close to her.

“You had every reason not to trust me.” He tells her, quietly; “I spent three centuries lying to you. And then I lied to you twice again. I know I said sorry to the guys just now about that first time, but I am, truly, sorry for lying to you about my nervous breakdown. It just…seemed to make you feel more confident and I…thought I could let something good come out of something…not-good.”

That also sounded very Michael-y the more Eleanor thought about it. It didn’t take away her guilt.

“Eleanor.” He says, softly, fingers brushing against her shoulder; “I told you from the start that you shouldn’t trust me. And while I wanna backtrack on that for the most part now…I still think you’re smart to always allow yourself the freedom to doubt. For all you know, I could’ve been Vicky, or worse. So, stop torturing yourself. Save it for our test subjects.”

She manages a smile at that, moving a little to lean into his touch. Michael pulls his hand back.

They’re not done. Eleanor can feel it. There’s a space between them which Michael can probably see with his demonic extra vision is stuffed full of tension and words unsaid. Feelings unshared. He’d been so free with his affection towards Jason and Tahani. Why did it still feel as though he was backing away from her? He’d been curled up in her arms for the past two days.

“You sure you’re okay after going through that?” Eleanor asks, “No more lies.”

His cheek twitches a little. He rubs the back of his neck.

“Bit of a headache but it’s nothing to worry about. Got a stockpile of medicated antimatter at the office, I’m all set.” He says with an unsure smile. “…Thank you, Eleanor. For staying with me. That…That was rough, I’ll be honest. I didn't like going through all those memories. There's a lot of things I did that...I wish I could go back and undo. That I'm pretty much disgusted with myself about. I never wanted to see what I did with my own eyes again. Most painful thing I’ve been through in years.”

It looked that way; “I can’t imagine. But you're not that demon anymore, Michael. You're a lot kinder, a lot braver...and ten times as sexy as you were when I first met you."

Michael shuffles his feet; "Well....Yeah, I suppose that's all true."

She smiles at his glimmer of confidence; "Would you have preferred we let you grow back normally?”

“Nah, you made the right choice. Better I suffer for a bit through that than risk the CEO version my pubescent self ever meeting Brent.” Michael smiles; “…And it would’ve been a lot worse if you hadn’t been there with me.”

Eleanor smiles, “It’s what I always promised you, didn’t I, right from the start? I’ll always be here.”

She wants to reach out and give his arm a squeeze, as she had done the first time. She wants to pull all six feet of him into a hug. There’s too much distance between them. She hates it.

The taller demon gives a hum. He doesn’t look too convinced.

“What?” She asks.

“I’m just…I’m gonna miss this. I’ve liked…us working together.” He confesses to her, “I’ve enjoyed us spending time together, like we used to, before…” Before she went back to Earth; “…But I know that when the experiment is over and Chidi gets his memories back, it’s all gonna change. And when you guys finally get rewarded by going to the Good Place, well, it’s highly unlikely I’ll be allowed to follow you without getting evaporated.”

“Don’t say that. Don’t even joke about that!” Eleanor is suddenly horrified; “You don’t know what’s gonna happen! And you really think, once Chidi is back, we’re not gonna have time to hang out?”

“It’s fine, Eleanor! Really! You guys are gonna wanna catch up on all that time I…took away from you.” He says, the shame stilting his words as he backs away from her; “Maybe it’s easier if we just, don’t get too attached to each other, before then? We just see each other when we need to play the role of Architects and when we’re with the group-.”

“Michael.”

“-But you don’t need to always be around me. It’s like I said before, you should worry about the others, I’ll be fine. I was fine on my own for an eternity, I can-.”

“Michael, shut the fork up!”

He stops his babbling, having inched himself further away from her with each jumbled, panicked sentence, increasing the space between the two of them until they could fit probably two crates of Derek on the floor in the gap.

He looks at Eleanor. She stares back, her eyes damp, fists curling at her sides.

At last, it feels as though they’ve cracked the surface of what she was trying to dig up from what they’ve been burying deep down in the foundations of their relationship. There’s fear shining from Michael’s eyes. He’s not distancing himself from her because he hates her or resents her for not trusting him. He’s backing away because he’s scared of getting close to her. He’s afraid of losing her, a phobia she understands all too well after these last, tiring few days.

“I love you.” She utters the words. The ones that are needed most right now.

Michael shudders and then shakes his head; “No…You don’t. You love him. Chidi.”

“I can love more than one person. You’re the one who showed me I was capable of that.” Eleanor explains, stepping towards him, not caring if she has to corner him here; “But you showed me the wrong proof. I mean, yeah, you were right to show me what I had with Chidi, but that wasn’t all the love I had. I had Tahani. I had Jason. I had Janet.”

In many types of love in more than a few of those examples.

She moves close and reaches to touch his face; “I had you, Michael. You should have showed me what we had. The trips to the bowling alley, the saucy seduction attempts, the study dates. It might not have been the epic romance I had with Chidi, but…It was ours. And it was special. It meant the world to me.”

He reaches his hand up to curl his fingers around hers, keeping them close to his cheek.

Carefully, he brushes his lips against her nails.

“I love you too. I didn’t realise it until that moment you…” He tells her, his voice shaky and small again; “…You told me to be careful. No one had ever said that to me before. No one had ever cared…That’s when I knew…It’s when I knew I would sacrifice anything for you, Eleanor.”

She smiles up at him, closing the gap, the two metaphorical Dereks now gone into their void. Eleanor caresses his face and leans up on her tip toes so she can meet Michael’s lips with her own. At first, as if on instinct, his hands clutch her to him, one on her the small of her back, the other between her shoulders, her own on the back of his head and around his neck. She tastes him, inhaling the smell of her own perfume on him from where he’s been laying with her, wanting and needing this closeness. This love.

The kiss lasts for several, heated seconds before Michael pulls back, his nose brushing against hers.

“We shouldn’t…It’s not fair on Chidi…” He whispers, cheeks reddening despite the lack of blood.

“I saw him and Simone kissing in the park yesterday. If he’s allowed that then I’m allowed this.” She says, fingers curling into his jacket.

Chidi chose to leave her to deal with this alone, to have to watch him walk about not remembering her. As Michael said, she's the one who had to suffer when it came to his 'sacrifice'. He gets to walk around in fake Heaven, in blissful ignorance, even fall in love with someone else while Eleanor watches on. All because it was too damn awkward for him to be around his ex. Yes, she's mad. Yes, it's not fair on Chidi. But fork it. Michael is here. Michael has always been here.

She tries to kiss him again and, at first, Michel responds in kind. He moans, pressing his tongue to hers, sucking her lip, before he pulls back a second time, gently putting her flat on her feet.

“It’s not the same…And you know it.” He tells her, his hands finding hers and bringing them down; “Please, Eleanor. This is what I was trying to explain. It just…makes it harder.”

She takes a breath, her arousal waning as quick as it had begun. Her eyes linger on his lips before she looks down at their hands clasped together.

“…You’re right. Stupid, wise, reformed demon. You’re always right.” She sighs.

“I’m gonna need you to put that in writing so I can laminate it.” He says, lightening the mood.

“God, I just wish you’d told me how you felt or…shown me everything before Chidi and I…” She says, now feeling guilty towards Chidi.

What was wrong with her? Both these doofuses were willing to make sacrifices for her and now she’s flitting back and forth between them.

“It wouldn’t have made a difference. You and Chidi, you always find each other. You’re soul mates.” Michael says, sounding as though he finally believes in the concept, bittersweet as it is for him.

“So are we, dude.”

She’s not sure how that works or if any of it is possible. But she knows that Michael is a part of her soul as much as Chidi is. He may have nudged her and Chidi together but he always found Eleanor, he never gave up on her. Same goes for the rest of their little team. She knows that Michael cares for them all, but she’s always been sharp enough to notice the way he looks at her, hones in on her, wants to be close to her different to the others. And that’s never been a problem in Eleanor’s eyes.

Eleanor cups his tired looking but handsome face in her hands again.

“Listen. No matter what happens between me and Chidi, or whatever goes on after this experiment is over, nothing will ever change between us. I’m always gonna have time for my best demon bud.”

“You mean I’m not the only one? Did you make friends with Glenn while I was out of it?”

She laughs; “No! I mean…argh, I don’t think there will be a word for what we are, dude…But I do love you. And that’s gonna stick for eternity. We’ll always be together, so long as you don’t go and do something stupid like crucify yourself or some shirt!”

“No crucifixion. Promise.”

“Or sacrifices of any sort! We do this together or not at all.” Eleanor tells him, passion in her green eyes.

Michael gives a teary smile, his thumb stroking over hers as they hold onto each other. She knows that he’s still thinking about that kiss. So is she. They can think about it as much as they like. It’s as far as it can ever go, unless Chidi wakes up with his memories and decides he wants to stay with Simone after all. And even then, would it be right for her to be with Michael just because the other guy she loves no longer wants her?

Getting the truth out at last has made everything all the more complicated. But at least it’s there. It’s no longer bubbling beneath the surface, like a volcano, ready to explode and burn them because they weren’t ready to face it. Maybe they can talk it out when Chidi is back. Maybe their feelings will change or maybe…

She moves forward, Michael’s arms sliding around her again, her head finding his chest. He wraps her up, tight, resting his head on top of hers. She grips onto him, nuzzling against his shirt.

Fork it. Maybe, for the next few minutes, nothing else needs to matter.

“I’m not giving you up any time, ever.” She tells the Architect in her arms; “Whatever price I have to pay to keep us together, I’ll give it. You understand?

“Yes, I understand your very ironic promise.”

Eleanor lets out a weak laugh, pulling back and taking her hand in his, swinging it a little.

“C’mon, sexy Fire Squid. We’ve got work to do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologise to anyone who was looking forward to the seven stages of demon growth, I didn't feel as though I could do justice to that or that it would fit the tone of this fic. But someone needs to get on that!
> 
> (my somewhat cheesy but sweet song inspo this time: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ihu6sRXyz-M)


End file.
